HOW
DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE?
By: Amy L. Chaves
November
9, 2000
THE FALLING IN LOVE STAGE
1.
When
you become crazy over the person and you know it has nothing to do with any
abnormal behavior or brain damage on your part.
2.
When
songs and poems which did not have any significance to you before suddenly
become important because they make you think of the other person in a wonderful
sort of way.
3.
When
you begin to want to know more about the other in a way that make you want to
peel each layer of the non-essential qualities of the person until you get to
the part where you encounter the other for who he/she is.
4.
When
you find the other the most handsome/most beautiful person even if he/she does not
look like Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts.
5.
When
you become a storywriter or a poet even if you do not have a degree in
literature and all you could write about is him/her.
6.
When
everything in nature reminds you of the other person and how he/she has brought
so much happiness into your life.
7.
When
you intensely want to make love only with the other person and don’t want to
touch or be touched with any other man or woman for that matter.
8.
When he/she is the last person you think
of before you sleep at night, when he/she the first person you think of when you
wake up in the morning, and when thoughts about him/her flood your mind the
whole day.
THE DEEPENING OF LOVE STAGE
9.
When
you think you can live with the person for the rest of your life, taking into
account that years from now he would look like his father or she would look like
her mother.
10.
When
you choose to live with him/her even if you could live
on your own without him/her.
11.
When
your dreams and goals are focused on how these would bring you closer to
him/her.
12.
When
the other’s pleasure and happiness is equally important or more important than
your own pleasure and happiness.
13.
When
you become so open and honest with each other that you can articulate almost
anything-- from your innermost fears to your sexual fantasies.
14.
When
you know there are a lot of mountains to climb before you can have each other
yet both of you are willing to climb these mountains regardless of how long and
how difficult the journey.
15.
When
you are willing to fight for your man or woman for as long as what you are
fighting for is your love for him/her.
16.
When
you think that the other person is worth all the struggles and the waiting.
17.
When
you dream of having a house of your own with the kind of bed, chair, and sofa
that you both like to own.
18.
When
you want to learn new things for your sake and for the sake of the other person.
THE REAL LOVE STAGE
19.
When you recognize that he/she is not the terrifically sensual man or woman you expect but you love him/her
anyway.
20.
When you discover that there are things you couldn’t agree with
but you love each other anyway.
21.
When he/she likes science, cornflakes and sleeps in his/her birthday suit
and you like the humanities, hot noodles and sleep in your oversized T-shirt but you love
each other anyway.
22.
When you give space to each other to further your respective growth and you still love each other anyway.
23.
When he/she doesn’t look like the man/woman you married years ago but you still love each other
anyway.
24.
When the thrill and excitement of the falling in love stage
have become a distant memory but you love each other anyway.
25.
When the other still means the whole world to you and more after all these years.
26.
When you value each other all the more despite the biological changes that mortals are heirs to.
27.
When you still hold hands in the dark and snuggle together
in the mornings, sometimes in a spoon position like the way you used to.
28.
When you care for each other all the more despite all the quarrels
and misunderstandings.
29.
When you can laugh at each other’s weaknesses and be proud
of each other’s strengths.
30.
When you reach the end of this article and you still want to be with him/her, then you must really be in
love!
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